Welcome to My Life

In January, one of the goals I set for 2016 was to spend time twice a month writing blogs to share here as a way to keep friends and family updated on my life, but also for me to take a break from the busyness of life every once in a while and do something I love. If you look back through the year, though, you'll see that my last blog post was February 17, exactly 2 months ago today. So, in order to catch you up quick, here is a short list of what has been going on in my life these past 2 months!

February 19-21, 2016: theRiver Winter Retreat

This year, I decided super last minute to attend theRiver Winter Retreat. I have gone on this trip every year I've been at UNI, but this year I wasn't sure if it was my place to go on a trip structured primarily for undergraduate students.

As the week went by, a lot began to frustrate me. I was having car problems, money for my missions trip was coming due, and on the way to Minnesota, I got pulled over by a city cop who gave me a ticket for speeding 8 over the limit. Simply put, I arrived at the retreat pretty frustrated with myself and with everything that was happening in life at the time.

It didn't take long for me to see why I was there, though. It turns out, a break is exactly what I needed at that point. I needed to just get away.

Over the course of the weekend, it became more and more evident that God was showing me what joy looks like. I saw people worshipping God without any hesitation. I saw people experiencing joy, not just happiness. I watched a bunch of college aged adults forgetting about their stresses and focusing in on what God was doing in their lives.

March 5, 2016: UNI Dance Marathon

The first Saturday in March has been reserved for Dance Marathon since my freshmen year at UNI and this year was no different. On March 5, I got to witness over 1,000 college students unite for a cause that I have cared about for 5 years now. I witnessed kiddos experience joy because they could forget their sickness for a day and while I may have witnessed some really bad dancing; I got to see those same bad dancers throw their worries aside and focus on something so much greater.

On March 5, 2016, I got to see UNI DM raise over $370,000 for the University of Iowa Children's Hospital, making us the second highest fundraising dance marathon program in the state of Iowa!

March 11-20, 2016: Jamaica Mission Trip

After 3 years away, I finally made it back to Kingston, Jamaica; to serve a community of people that I met back in 2013. I was excited to go back, but really nervous about what this trip would look like for me because I had a rough time on my first trip to the country. I'd share more about it, but I am planning a Jamaica recap blog to follow this one. So, stay tuned! :)

March 22, 2016: Executive Co-Director

On March 22, 2016, I interviewed for the opportunity to serve an organization I love as one of the next Executive Co-Directors for UNI Dance Marathon! I had my first interview at 5:30 p.m., my second interview at 9:30 p.m., and accepted the position at 11:00 p.m. that night! Things have moved quickly since then and my partner and I, Greta, just finished selecting our team of Directors this past week. We are both excited to have the opportunity to lead this organization over the next 12 months and can't wait to see how the UNI & Cedar Valley communities continue to live out the FTK cause this next year!

April: Listen Well

A lot has been happening in April. Between interviewing candidates for our Dance Marathon Executive Board, to interviewing student "Words of Wisdom" speakers for UNI Now, I spent over 20 hours this week just sitting and listening to people. In addition to this, my role at Scratch Cupcakery is picking up as Curbside season starts in 2 weeks. On top of it all, I'm also in the middle of conducting research on students expectations on what college is like vs. the experiences they've had at UNI.

Through all of this busyness in April, I think I'm learning what it means to listen well. From people's stories, to their problems, to their qualifications for whatever they applied for, needing to be a better listener has been a common theme among what has been going on in my life.

Why this year matters.

Many of you don't remember the beginning. Like, the way beginning. We're talking Year 1. A fundraising goal of only $12,000.  A 20 year old national dance marathon record being broken.

The beginning.

If you don't know, UNI DM is only 5 years old. I was there at the first event 5 years ago; it was February 25, 2012. It was back then that a meager 500 students gathered into the union. Power Hour was held in the coffeehouse, and there was hardly any organization about the day.

But we danced.

We danced and we didn't care who was watching.

We danced and we met 14 kiddos that melted our hearts.

2012 was the first year that defined our program. That year, we raised $56,473.01 and we broke the national first year fundraising record. 2012 was the year when we knew that there was something special about UNI DM, and so did everyone else.

After our success in year 1, we had been thrust into the national spotlight as a model program. DM programs from across the country were looking to UNI to mimic our success.

In year 2, we raised $101,379.02. That was the year I was a part of the big reveal and only 5 people knew we had surpassed $100K. The Head of Youth Marketing for the Children's Miracle Network, our Co-Executive Directors, our Director of Finance, and the guy wearing the 10.

Passing $100K in only our second year is a BIG DEAL. I'm talking HUGE. That year, everybody was crying. We cried because we had accomplished something so much bigger than ourselves.

It was after that reveal that we knew that we couldn't stop.

In 2014, we raised $176,498.03. That was the year we really started to act like a national program, not just externally with our fundraising total, but internally with the attitude of the executives and all the committee members.

That year we broke into the top 20 dance marathon programs across the nation in terms of fundraising totals.

That year, we knew we had done something special.

But we knew that it wasn't enough.

We knew that UNI was meant to be bold. To do everything bigger and better...

...and we did.

In 2015, we went back to our roots. We focused on why we danced. We focused on doing everything better than before.

We focused on the kids.

In 2015, I had the privilege of serving as the Director of Public Relations for UNI DM. I didn't know my executive teammates at first, but now they're some of my closest friends. In 2015, we set a goal to raise $225,000 because we wanted to be bold. We were scared of this number, but we wanted to challenge UNI to do what other schools hadn't been able to do, and we did it.

We danced.

We laughed.

We cried.

We had a really good time.

And we raised $278,135.04

So why does this year matter? Why does 2016 matter when we've done so well in the past?

It's not about our past numbers, it never should have been. A goal is just a goal; it doesn't have to be reached. 2016 matters because we made a commitment back in 2012. We made a commitment to the University of Iowa Children's Hospital. We made a commitment to the families. We made a commitment to our kiddos. We made a commitment to always be FTK, to always strive to do the best we could do. We made a commitment to keep dancing until there is no longer a reason to dance because kiddos don't have to go through the horrible things they do.

Like I said, many of you weren't there back in 2012. Back then, we only dreamed of the amount of money we are going to raise on March 5. This is year 5 for UNI DM. It's the year where we can either be content with where we have been or we can remember the commitment UNI Dance Marathon made back in 2012 and go all out the next few weeks for these kiddos.

Asking people for money really sucks. But when you quit worrying about how you feel when you ask and remember why you are asking, it gets a whole lot easier.

In 2012, $56K wasn't easy.

In 2013, $101K wasn't easy.

In 2014, $176K wasn't easy.

In 2015, $278K wasn't easy.

And you better believe it that in 2016, a goal of $305K won't be easy.

But it's possible.

And if you believe that one day, our kiddos won't be sick anymore, than you should believe that we can raise $305,000 by March 5. It won't be easy, but when it's for the kids, it's definitely worth it.

Some lessons I've learned in Grad School

I originally titled this post "5 Things I've learned in Grad School" and then I realized that my roommates would probably joke that I've only learned 5 things. So with that in mind, here are a few of the lessons I've learned after 22 weeks in graduate level courses.

1.   Everyone matters.

No matter who they are or where they come from, the students I see in my office are the same.  Now I'm not trying to generalize all students and the issues they face, because by no means is that the case. What I'm saying, though, is that all students are worth my time. All students are unique and that means that I should never treat them as if they are the same.  None of their situations are identical to another students', so why should I treat each of my meetings with them as if they are all the same people?

2.   My cohort gets it.

Holy wow, is this statement true. I never quite got what was so great about a graduate program with a cohort model but now that I have experienced it, I am forever grateful for the 15 other students walking through this thing with me.  They are the ones that understand why I complain about this or that assignment. They are the ones who get that I really disliked reading our Birnbaum book, even if the content was really beneficial.  The people in my cohort are the ones who I know I can lean on when I need some extra help and they'll be some of the first people I call when I need the help as a practitioner. 

3.   Drop your expectations, you're wrong.

So far in grad school, I've made a lot of assumptions.  Assumptions on who the people in my cohort are, assumptions about what kind of a career I want, and assumptions on what people expect from me and every single one of the assumptions I have made has been wrong.  I've expected things to be one way, and then they aren't.  I've expected to follow a path to a particular job and now I realize it's not the type of career I want. I've made a lot of these assumptions over the past few months only to turn around the following week and realize I was wrong.

I've learned in grad school that I can't always expect things to go a certain way, because more often than not, I am wrong. 

4.   "Thanks and shit."

One of the first things Dr. Woods (my supervisor) did in my practicum was hand me a list of 8 students who were first semester freshman, told me to contact them, and set up appointments to meet with them in the office.  This was my first time meeting one-on-one with students so I wasn't quite sure what to expect. After my first set of appointments, I made personal phone calls to the few who hadn't responded to my initial e-mail and one of the calls stuck out to me; after stating who I was and offering to set up a meeting, here's how the young man responded, "Nah dude, I don't really want to; but thanks and shit for asking me.  That's really cool that you guys care enough to reach out to me, that's legit."

That was one of the realest things he could have said to me and I was so happy he did.  I know that not all students are going to show appreciation for the work I will do as a practitioner, but I'm going to remember this young man's response to my request and know that no matter if they express it or not, the students appreciate what I do.

5.   Give the period some space.

Bet you didn't catch what I've been doing here. Throughout this post, I've been switching between throwing one space after a period and throwing two spaces after. It's been a place of contention among members of my cohort as to whether or not you need one period or two after a sentence when writing in APA style. Our professors couldn't agree either, with some requiring one and others requiring two.

What we came to find out, though, is that the APA style doesn't declare one of these ways right or wrong. The APA manual states that it suggests putting two spaces after a period that ends a statement to aid in readability, however, this means that it is not a requirement. Felix is probably the only person who will care about this, but one space after a period is my favorite. :)

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Bottom line, I've learned a lot in my first 22 weeks of this program. A lot of it has been practical skills that I can apply toward my career as a student affairs professional, but some of the most important lessons I have learned so far haven't been what I've learned in a textbook, but what I have learned from my peers and some of the experiences I've had so far. Here's to learning more in the coming 42 weeks!

Routines

Routines.

They are blessing. They are curses.

A routine is what has kept me sane for as long as I can remember. Anybody that knows me well enough knows that I keep a pretty detailed calendar on my phone; it's even gone as far as to include "Go to Bed" at 11 p.m. every night so that I am reminded every day when I need some sleep before the next morning.

My routine is what helps me know what is coming up next. My routine is what allows me to feel like I am in control of my life.

There in lies the problem with routines though.

Control.

We are not meant to have it; we are not meant to live for what we want. Far too often, I let my desire for control dictate my routine.

““Now listen, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.’ Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. instead, you ought to say, ‘If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.’””

— James 4: 13-15

I grew up in the church. Went to church every Sunday morning and Wednesday night, and that routine was a constant growing up. I grew up knowing who God is, but I didn't know what he wanted from my life.

Now I knew the church answer to that statement, but deep down I didn't really know.

Why didn't I know? I wasn't taking the time to figure it out.

Time is expensive, and for that reason, I used to justify not spending time reading my bible because I had other things to do. That busy schedule that I had total complete control over was filled with so many things, that I told myself that there wasn't any time for God in my daily routine.

It's tempting to want instant gratification with our relationship with Christ. We see others who seem to have everything figured out and are on fire for God, but we don't take the time to change up our routines to reflect this desire for our own lives.

We don't take time to read and pray.

We want a faith that is gratifying but we don't want to take the time to get there.

We want to know God's plan for our lives but we don't take the time to read and pray to discover what it is.

Routines can be difficult to change. But the silent routines of everyday life, like spending time every morning in the Word and in prayer, are the most important routines we will ever have.

God Never Stops Being God

In 2015, 

• I got so busy with UNI DM, I forgot to spend time with some of those that mean the most to me.

• There were days where I didn't think anybody wanted to be my friend. Silly, I know.

• I barely spoke to some great friends for a few months because I wasn't honest about my feelings.

• I spent the first few months of the year saying "no" to God at every turn because it was easier then saying "yes".

This year, when I wasn't doing the greatest, these were some of the things that I tended to focus my attention on. I would forget about the good times that I had and dwell on the bad.

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On December 31, I posted a photo on Instagram - a collage of some of my favorite moments of 2015. As I scrolled through the camera roll on my phone, I found hundreds of pictures from this past year that I had totally forgotten about. As I scrolled my way back to January, I was reminded of how many cool things I had done over the past year.

• I finished up a year of working with an executive team that was so selfless with their time and constantly challenged me to be better.

• I travelled to Chicago 3 times with my best friends and spent days exploring the city and drinking A LOT of coffee.

• I graduated from UNI and couldn't stay away, so I started a graduate program here too.

• I got to teach middle school kids all about who Jesus is and watch them grow in their faith at a camp that taught me the same more than a decade ago.

So why tell you all this?

Well, the good and the bad times that 2015 brought were inevitable; good and bad things happened and the same is going to be true for 2016.

These past few months though, I've been recognizing that God is always there. He is always present. He is always working. Now it's not to say that I didn't already know this, but these past few months, I've accepted the truth behind the statement.

There's a song that I've really enjoyed listening to the past few months called I Will Follow by Vertical Church Band. One of my favorite lines of the song goes, "In the good things and in the hardest part, I believe and I will follow You."

This song perfectly encompasses all that 2015 was for me. 2015 was a year that I grew a lot in my faith. It wasn't perfect, and the journey that I took to get to where I'm at wasn't the smoothest in the world, but through it all, God was there. Through the fights with my friends that I just didn't understand why they were happening, God was there. And through all the adventures I had the chance to take, God was there too.

God never leaves us. God never stops being God. Even when I chose to say no to Him, God was saying yes to me. 2016 is going to be a lot like 2015, but through the good and through the bad, I am choosing to follow Him.

“I believe everything that You say You are
I believe that I have seen Your unchanging heart
In the good things and in the hardest part
I believe and I will follow You”

— Vertical Church Band

Why Jamaica?

Three years ago at Summer Games University, a friend of mine, Jeremy, told me about a missions trip he was going to be going on to Kingston, Jamaica. He didn't know much about it at the time but he was excited to go and told me I should think about going too. Fast forward a few months to a Thursday night at BASIC, a college ministry at UNI, I met Carter Moore for the first time and through a series of questions, I came to realize that Carter was the guy leading this trip that Jeremy had prompted me about a few months prior. 

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After talking with Carter about what the trip would look like, I decided to go for it. It seemed like a cool opportunity to get out of the country for the first time and spend spring break in a place a lot warmer than Iowa. Looking back, I went to Jamaica for the wrong reasons; I was selfish in what I wanted out of the trip. Nevertheless, come March 15, 2013, I packed up my things into a van with some of my friends and we headed to Chicago for the flight to Jamaica.

Now that it has been a few years, my clarity of what happened that week has improved so much. I remember talking about how cool it was to experience worship with deaf people. I talked about how much I was served more than I served them. I talked about how my life was changed because of the trip.

But that's not really what God was doing in my heart during that week.

Those things are things that happened to some of the other people on the trip, and because I didn't know what I was feeling back then, I hopped onto what they had to say and took it as my own experiences. I felt that I needed to know what God was up to because it seemed like everybody else on the trip knew. It took me a couple of months to begin to understand what God was working on in me during that season of my life.

During that season, God was revealing to me how impatient of a person I can be. I found myself being impatient with other people and I found myself being impatient with myself. The thing I discovered the most during this time of my life, though, was how impatient I can be with God. Those of you who know me well know that I like instant gratification. I enjoy quick access to news and information and I need answers as soon as I have a question. If I can't get that, it frustrates me. It frustrates me to not know something and not be able to figure it out; and that is what has habitually frustrated me in my relationship with God.

By no means am I perfect, and so I stand here today telling you these things not as someone who has overcome them completely, but as someone who has come a long way from 2013.

So back to Jamaica. Why go on another trip?

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In 2014 and 2015, I was asked if I wanted to return to Jamaica and serve the same kids from 2013, but it never felt right. I was still growing and trying to understand what a healthy relationship with God looked like and around the time of those two trips, growing in my faith didn't look like leaving the country to serve others when I felt like I really needed to still grow a lot myself.

Now, I am ready though. Like I said, I'm still learning and growing in my relationship with Christ, but we always will be. I'm in a much healthier place with my relationship with God now and when I was asked if I wanted to return to Jamaica this year, it really felt right. I don't know why God wants me to go back. I don't know what the reason for feeling this push to return is, but I do know that I wouldn't have learned how to be patient and except the things I do not know or don't have control over if it wasn't for my trip 3 years ago.

What can you do?

Pray. Pray for the teams safety as we travel next March. Pray for our hearts to be prepared for whatever God is doing in us, even if we don't recognize what it is right away. Most importantly though, pray for the CCCD and the kiddos we will be serving; they are the sole reason I have this incredible opportunity.

Support me financially. As everything else in our world does, this trip is costing me a good chunk of money. I'm a broke college kid trying to pay his way through graduate school and so if I can fundraise a good majority of this trip, I would be forever grateful to those who have the means to spare a few bucks to help me out. The trip costs $1,700 so I have a ways to go but if you can help me by donating, I would greatly appreciate it. You can donate by sending cash or a check to me at 1502 Delta Drive, Cedar Falls, IA 50613.