a year in the making

This year has been nothing short of an incredible experience. 365 days ago today, I woke up, drove to Sidecar Coffee for one last morning cappuccino as an Iowa resident, and embarked on a journey I was both excited yet nervous for. I don't think my words need to be more complex to better describe my feelings. I was excited to be beginning my next adventure yet nervous for everything unknown.

---- I began writing this blog back in late July, then August happened. So now that we’re well into September, I still wanted to share with you all about my first year in Mankato ----

-- August 2017 --

I moved to Mankato on 8/1, started my job on 8/3, and I met my staff on 8/5. Those 5 days started me on a path of learning that I was expecting but wholly unprepared for. Everything in Mankato was new. Everything at Minnesota State University, Mankato was new. Everything about Residential Life was new. Heck, even all of my furniture was new. The only thing that felt consistent in my life at the time was the fact that I knew come Sunday that I could walk in to a church here in Mankato and feel comfortable- even if the church was new too.

-- September 2017 --

I quickly learned that everybody in Minnesota is extremely proud of their state. The greatest distinction I saw between how Minnesotans and Iowans expressed their love is that Minnesotans are verbally and visually proud of Minnesota- to them, everything is great here. Iowans are used to the rest of the country talking down to them because we come from fields of corn and there is nothing to do. Iowans, on the contrary, are well aware that the state has a lot to offer. I speak of this because in September, I found those two ideals at odds with many of the individuals I talked to. My staff team quickly pointed out how horrible Iowa is and it has been my mission since to show the great people of Minnesota how cool Iowa actually is. To date, they've been most impressed with Scratch Cupcakery and Sidecar Coffee but my work is no where near complete. Also, I BOUGHT A CAR! Much like my experience interviewing and accepting this job, I had told myself I would look at cars in September and then make a purchase in October. Well, I saw "the one" online on a Sunday afternoon. Called to look at it on Monday. Then drove it off the lot on a Tuesday. It wasn't the game plan, but I've learned that my plans sometimes stink and I need to roll with whatever comes my way- hence, my new Chevy Cruze. 

-- October 2017 --

Over the years, worshiping in church has been hard for me. I know that I can sing well, and I don't say that to gloat, but to help preface the next few sentences. Early on in my years at UNI, I found myself worshipping in church for the people in the seats in front of me rather than for God. I would sing harmonies and try to project louder with the hope that they would turn around after church to tell me that I was a great singer. I was seeking their approval for something that isn't meant for them. So I withdrew from that practice. I intentionally started standing in the back of services so that there was distance between me and the people in front of me. It was this practice that allowed me to refocus my heart on what worship is. As I started attending a new church in Mankato, I was excited to get plugged in more. I decided to take a chance on something I had never done before so I auditioned for my church's worship team. The experience has been really good- as I have learned that nothing I do on stage is for the people in front of me, but for true and pure worship to God.

-- November 2017 --

I went to my first Residential Life professional conference this month, UMR-ACUHO. It was here that I realized how small the world of Res Life actually is, as I found myself running into several people I knew from my time at UNI who were now working in Res Life at other institutions. The conference really helped me grow in my confidence as a Res Life professional because it helped me to better see how my work in Res Life was impacting the student experience.

-- December 2017 --

CURLING!! This was the month that I realized how long winters in Minnesota actually were going to be and that I needed to figure out how to pass the time before I could get back outside in some shorts. Enter the Mankato Curling Club. On the first Saturday of December, I spent 3 hours in a Learn to Curl class with about 20 other people. We fell a lot on the ice, and our curling skills were incredibly below sub-par, but we didn't care- it was fun. That day, I met the owner of a local restaurant in town who invited me to curl on his team for a short 3 week beginners league starting up the following week. I jumped on the chance and spent one night a week continuing to hon in on my below average skills. By the end of the 3 week league, I was still incredibly horrible at curling, but it was fun. The most fun I had had in Minnesota in a while. Curling was good, and I'm excited to do it again this coming winter.

-- January 2018 --

ROUND 2- here we go. The beginning of January brought around the start of the 2nd semester and a second chance at walking through CA Training with my team. This time I was so much more prepared than the first time around. We started the new year with a renewed energy and commitment to making Stadium Heights a better place for our residents to live. January was the month I started feeling like I was getting into the groove of being a Hall Director. It was also the month that I started working on my application to reapply for my job. That's right. I was hired in July 2017 on a temporary basis with my contract set to expire in June 2018. January was the month where I started the 4 month interview process toward finding out if Mankato would be home in July 2018 or not.

-- February 2018 --

February was a cold and uneventful month but after several months of constant travelling to different parts of the midwest, I finally had a solid 4 weekends to stay in Mankato. That being said, February was also the month where I played host to friends on almost every weekend. Hosting friends has been one of my absolute favorite things about moving to Mankato. My community in Cedar Falls was incredible and being able to show my people my new home has been really fun. One of those weekends, I took the plunge into the world of skiing and after a full day of hitting the slopes at Mt. Kato, I’m hooked. Did I fall? Yes, but only once and it was 4 hours into the day, so I feel like that’s pretty good.

-- March 2018 --

In March, I had the chance to attend UNI Dance Marathon for the first time as an alum and absolutely loved getting to watch the DM Leadership Team host an incredible event for the kids. Back in Mankato, I got to select my team for the next year and begin thinking about what I wanted to accomplish as a Hall Director in year 2, if I was asked back in my role. Year after year, March tends to be one of my favorite months of the year because of the opportunity to head to Kingston, Jamaica, on a missions trip. This year was special, though, as this was the first year that I served as a leader on the trip. While in country, I led a small group of college students from Iowa as we dove into scripture and experienced life in Jamaica together. On top of the normal routine in country, I had the chance to watch some of the students I’ve built relationships with over the years show off their skills on their espresso machine. That included taking a trip to the U.S. Embassy in Jamaica to see some of the managers of Deaf Can! Coffee serving drinks to U.S. Embassy employees. This helped me bring full circle the transformation I have been witnessing over the years in Jamaica. The whole idea behind Deaf Can! Coffee is that deaf individuals CAN do things, they are capable of many things and that was put on full display as U.S. Embassy employees actively sought out purchasing drinks from Deaf Can! Coffee baristas.

-- April 2018 --

In April, I had my on campus interview and wrapped up my months long interview process with Minnesota State, Mankato, and accepted an offer to continue working as a Hall Director here! It was a long process but one that helped solidify Mankato as home, something I had been anxious about for several months. I like stability and the process of not knowing what life would hold in several months was not fun at all. April was pretty hard for me, not only for that uncertainty but because spring was still so far away. Mid way through April, Mankato was hit with a blizzard that dumped more than 15 inches of snow on the ground and let me tell you, the idea that the seasons impact your mood was never more of a reality for me than in April this year- April was tough.

-- May 2018 --

May brought about a lot of weird but good changes. My team and I moved over 100 residents out the first week of May while just shy of 100 continued to live with us for the summer months. That transition meant on boarding a new team of CAs pretty quickly and preparing for the “Summer at Stadium”. May was also the month that I signed up to play on my church’s softball team. For any of you who knew me growing up, you are well aware that sports were just not my thing- from tee ball to 6th grade little league baseball, I’m fairly positive I only hit the ball a grand total of 10 times. I often tell people the story of my 6th grade season where the coach offered to take the team out for ice cream after any game that I hit the ball in… That only ever happened once. That being said, though, slow pitch softball just might be the sport for me! I might not be the best outfielder ever, but you could count on me to get a base hit every time I went up to bat- I’m way proud of that.

-- June 2018 --

In June, I dared my team to dream big as we hosted summer events for the residents currently living at Stadium while also beginning the planning process for what the first semester would look like for the new residents moving in. It was in June that i was nominated by one of my team members as a Residential Life Professional of the month and the nomination was selected as a Regional Winner- that was a pretty neat thing to learn about. The most exciting part about June, though, was that our family grew a bit! My brother, Ben, got married in late June to Zoe and it was a really really beautiful day for it. Seriously though, Zoe has been a joy to have in the family and it was neat getting to celebrate her and Ben as they began their life together.

-- July 2018 --

July was FUN. From a spur of the moment decision to day trip up to ValleyFair in the cities for a day of rollercoasters and waterslides to a spur of the moment decision to purchase a year long Minnesota State Parks pass, July was a month I thoroughly enjoyed. In July, we celebrated my Dad’s 50th birthday by surprising him at home after he was away on a trip. Ben, Zoe, and I hid in the house and were there to surprise him when he walked in. Did I ruin the “SURPRISE” part, yes. Was he still happy, absolutely. Back at work- my team and I worked incredibly hard to wrap up “Summer at Stadium” and begin the transition of moving summer residents out and preparing apartments for fall residents. All that hard work paid off as my summer team was nominated for an “of the month” award like I had been the month prior and WON nationally for the month of July!

 -- August 2018 --

BONUS MONTH! Since I’m a month behind in getting this done, I felt it was only right to share what I’ve been up to in August. It’s like one of those calendars that you get that gives you 13 months instead of 12… Anyway. August was a blur, and I mean that in the best possible way. At work, my new team arrived and completely rocked it during CA Training. We opened our buildings flawlessly and they have worked incredibly hard to make Stadium a place that residents are excited to call home. August was also a month where I hung out with a ton of Mankato friends, attended RibFest for the first time, learned how to golf and found myself on the course way more than I ever expected. I also am not very good at golfing (as shown in this photo) but I’m trying, so that’s a thing.

As I think about August in 2018 compared to August back in 2017, I’m really thankful for this past year. While hard at times, those difficult times helped me grow a lot. I left Cedar Falls last year with a lot of fears and insecurities about my ability to make new friends and start fresh in a new place, and while those fears were real and the beginning of my time here was hard, I am much more confident in my ability to handle life changes than I was back then. Cedar Falls will forever hold a special place in my heart, and you’ll still find me there for my Sidecar fixes every once in a while, but Mankato is home now and I’m really happy with where I’m at in this season of life.

community is not who God is

Ever since returning from Jamaica this year- I've been hitting a brick wall each time I sit down to write this post. It's practice for me to write a follow up blog from the experience I've had, but every time I sat down to write, there was nothing.

It's not that it wasn't a great trip- it was really, really good. I just haven't been able to put words to what I was feeling or learning.

I finally had something written down about two weeks ago but I didn't know how to end it, so I let it be. It felt fake and forced. It felt like the right thing to write to make everybody feel good about me and where I'm at, but wasn't reflective of how I was actually feeling.

So bear with me; I'll get to the trip in a second, but to understand my experience on the trip, you have to first understand how I had been feeling as a human over the past several months.

This year, I have been tired. I've been frustrated. I've been pissed. I've been complacent.

I went to Jamaica excited for a break and for the opportunity to be back with people I know. But rejoining friends from the Cedar Valley for a week proved to be more difficult that I ever expected or imagined. The thing that I loved most about Cedar Falls while I was living there was the community that exists and how the value of community is embedded in almost every aspect of life there.

There was the UNI community, the church community, and the Cedar Falls community was pretty tight knit too- I could go almost anywhere in the city and recognize familiar faces.

As I've experienced living in a new place for 9 months now, the biggest thing that I have missed about Cedar Falls has been community, and going to Jamaica with friends from Cedar Falls made me recognize that.

Prior to the trip, I had been frustrated with Mankato. Frustrated that there wasn't a '20 somethings' crowd in the city to hang out with. Frustrated that the community wasn't living up to my expectations of what community should look like.

This past week- I hung out with some friends at a local brewery. We chatted for over an hour about how life was going and how excited we were for the snow to finally melt. As we talked, I opened up more about what I had been feeling- I started being honest about where my heart was at and shared some of my frustrations.

I missed my community.

After sharing where I was at, one of my friends shared with me what they had been working through themselves. They said to me, "Hey, I've been going through the same thing. I've had a hard time watching life continue back home while things are so different here. But Jesus, he's been saying to me, 'hey, that community you miss so much? It's not me. That community is not what you need. That community will help you, but it's not who I am.'

Dang.

Holy dang.

I still believe in the value of community- but after hearing what my friend had to say, I'm recognizing now that I have sought out community here in Mankato as a substitute for God. God created us to be in community- yes. But not as a substitute for who he is- for his love.

Community isn't God. God is God.

I went to Jamaica seeking a break from life in Minnesota- not because I hate it here, but because I have been falsely seeking community instead of seeking God and I walked into the trip believing that the people I went with would quench that thirst.

Every year, the leaders of this trip call it a 'relationtrip'- a trip where relationships are built, both among peers on the trip and those in Jamaica. I've always been a bit skeptical of that name though. Sure, I have always valued the relationships built on the trip, but I thought the funny play on words was just that- something to say to be funny. 

This year though, I experienced the trip in a way that I never have before.

As I hopped off our bus when we arrived the first night, eager to greet some old friends that I hadn't seen in a year, I realized that many of the college students who were experiencing the trip for the first time were still on the bus. College students who were in a completely new environment, nervous to try to communicate with the deaf students.

As I've reflected on that moment, I've come to realize that I've built some incredible relationships with those in Jamaica over the years and it is because my focus hasn't been on what I can do for them, but on building friendships with them that last longer than a one week trip.

Given where I've been at over the past several months, this trip was really good for me. Not in the ways I expected, but because it made me realize that while community is great- the power of community rests in recognizing the power of relationships.

- Dan

there's always tomorrow

"Also, there's something else I need to tell you about this job." The man who I would later call my bosses boss began telling me as I sat nervously in a suit across the table. "The state of Minnesota has decided that the Hall Director position at MNSU is non-exempt so we're offering you this salary with the knowledge that you might have some overtime pay over the course of the year added onto it. However, you'll have to record your hours every two weeks. What are your thoughts?"

What are my thoughts? You're asking my opinion on being told that I can only work 40 hours a week and if I have to work more I get paid more? That sounds FANTASTIC!

"That sounds good by me."

I masked my enthusiasm and excitement for what my future employer was saying. I had spent the day falling in love with my future campus and city and this seemed like the cherry on top of a perfect situation.

What I didn't know, though, was that a lot of time, thought, and preparation had gone into moving the Hall Directors at Minnesota State University, Mankato from salary to hourly. There was some hesitation and doubt from some who did not know how everything would get done with Hall Directors only working 40 hours a week and here I was with absolutely no Residential Life experience to speak of, naively excited about a position I didn't know how to do or what would be expected of me.

For the first 2-3 months of my job, I was being trained in small increments spread out across the months, continuously adding additional tasks and responsibilities to my plate. Here's what I learned about working 40 hours a week during that time.

There's always tomorrow.

I can no longer count on my hands how many times I have said this phrase to whomever is within earshot at the end of the day. I have spent entire days trying to cross things off my to do list with little success because of X, Y, and Z coming up that took my attention away. Being restricted to only putting in 40 hours a week has allowed me the freedom to say this though. I do not fear what might happen if I don't get something done on my to do list by the end of a work day. I leave my office- confident- that it's okay for me to leave things unfinished. Do I eventually accomplish my tasks? Absolutely. But students come first in my office which sometimes means I won't get something done and that's okay, there's always tomorrow.

Culture is everything.

I would not be successful in my position if it weren't for a supervisor who understood and accepted the 'there's always tomorrow' concept. Some weeks, only working 40 hours is tough. My dad taught me at a young age that I need to get my work done before I play. In this job though, work gets left undone and if I didn't have a boss that was completely okay with that, then 40 hours would be extremely difficult. My supervisor encourages me through the busy times and that is the key to my success. Yesterday, I hit 40 hours at 4 p.m. but I knew I needed to take some paperwork to the Residential Life office before my day off today. So on my own time, I took the paperwork to the office and as soon as my supervisor saw me, she (jokingly) told me to go home- I wasn't supposed to be working. We know each other well enough now that she trusts me in managing my schedule and I know when she's joking around, but how cool is it that the culture of the office in which I work allows for this to happen. There aren't a lot of places where a supervisor will tell you to go home.

Empowering my staff.

This change to 40 hours a week for Hall Directors didn't only affect those of us working in the position- the Community Advisors I supervise were incredibly affected as well. I have three returners on my staff who were accustomed to nearly unlimited access to their former supervisor. No matter the hour, their supervisor was just a text message away. With this change, my staff knows that they can text me whenever they need to but I won't respond to work related things until I am working. At the beginning of the year, some CAs would call me when they didn't know exactly what to do when confronting a policy violation- often times with reasonable questions being as new to the role as they were. When I saw their name, I screened their call (they're aware I would do this) and would follow up about the call in the morning. Through this, they learned to troubleshoot and think critically in different situations and solve problems on their own. Now, when they actually do need assistance, they call the Hall Director on Duty to assist with the situation.

Work/life balance is easy.

Since joining the student affairs world, I consistently hear professionals discuss the importance of practicing work/life balance and self-care. Heck, I even wrote a paper about it in graduate school. In November, I attended a conference in Omaha, Nebraska, for housing professionals living and working in the midwest. At the conference, I attended a session on practicing balance in your life and with everything the speaker said, the experiences I have had in my limited time in the field looked completely different from what was being spoken about. In processing through what the speaker was covering, I realized my experience with working only 40 hours a week has allowed me to have a great work/life balance without much headache. With 40 hours a week being a mandated limit from the department, I have found myself fully enjoying my job because I have separation between my job and my personal life. I have had the opportunity to make friends, join a small group, serve in my church, and join a curling league. When my staff put on a program on Wednesday night, I choose to attend the program and then not come into work until 10 a.m. the next morning, and that is simply incredible for balancing my work with the rest of my life.

I fully recognize how incredibly unique this situation is within the higher education field- especially within Residential Life. But only working 40 hours a week has been an incredible blessing.

Do I have to manage my time well? Absolutely.

Do I have to prioritize my tasks and responsibilities on a daily basis? Absolutely.

Do I have to say no to some things? Absolutely.

Do I occasionally drop the ball on a responsibility? Absolutely.

Is it the end of the world when I do though? Absolutely not.

After working a semester in this field as a 40 hour a week employee, I am confident that I am better prepared for future jobs because of the lessons I am learning in balancing all of the responsibilities of my job and accomplishing them in 40 hours.

Mistakes are made at times, but they'd be made if I was working 50-60 hours a week too. I'm writing this blog, not to gloat about my experience and circumstances, but to hopefully shed some light on the issue of work/life balance in Student Affairs. I strongly believe that this change to the Hall Director position at Minnesota State University, Mankato has been a positive thing and hope that this is the beginning of change within the field of higher education. Only working 40 hours a week can seem impossible, but after doing it for a semester- I don't want to turn back.

take up your cross

What the heck does it even mean to take up your cross? I mean seriously, where did that come from?

I have heard that phrase too many times to count. Pastors, friends, strangers in a coffee shop, I have heard all of them tell myself and others around me that we should take up our cross everyday. But every single time I had been told to do this, I found myself wondering what that phrase even meant.

Without context, it is such an unusual phrase.

A couple weeks ago, I was sitting in church and the pastor started talking about taking up your cross- and again, I was perplexed and frustrated that I had not quite grasped what this phrase meant. The pastor was talking about our role in the church and how, as a society, we often look to those who are doing really big things and question what our purpose must be when we aren't doing anything big or spectacular everyday. I mean, there are christians out there who are feeding the hungry or preaching to the lost in far off countries. Yet here we are living in Minnesota, not doing anything ground moving with our lives.

Or are we?

Everyday we wake up and we have the opportunity to make an impact with what we have been given. We can wake up and choose to make a difference in our community. The people around us, they could be just as lost as those in other countries.

While talking about this, the pastor brought up Matthew 10:38. "Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me."

That dang line. What the heck. I sat in church with an idea of what this meant but not quite a full understanding of it. For too long, my pride kept me from asking what the phrase truly meant. So like any good millennial would do, I pulled out my laptop, googled the phrase, and found that in 3 of the gospels, the same line is recorded.

 

Matthew 16:24- "Then Jesus said to his disciples, 'Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.'"

Mark 8:34- "Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: 'Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.'"

Luke 9:23- "Then he said to them all: 'Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.'"

 

Holy dang wow. Think about that for a second- in 3 different accounts of Jesus' life, his disciples felt it was necessary to record this simple phrase from Jesus. Wow.

By no means am I a biblical scholar, I think that is pretty clear by now. But I think that Jesus was trying to tell us that we need to wake up every day and choose to follow him. You don't need to wake up and wonder how you can change the world. Wake up and wonder what you can do with what you have been given.

As I've thought about this over the past couple of weeks, I've been reminded of a verse I read years ago. Ephesians 4:1 says, "As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received." This verse has stuck with me because of how the word 'for' is used. As a prisoner FOR the Lord, it says. FOR the lord, we are called to live a life worthy of the calling we've received. Jesus so clearly told his disciples that if anybody wanted to follow him, they needed to take up their cross daily. We can all decipher what living a life worthy of our calling means and we would all come up with a different answer. But what if on the most basic of levels, the calling we've received is to take up our cross every single day and choose to follow Jesus? What if that calling was to choose Jesus daily and make an impact in our own community?

I don't really have a good way to wrap of these thoughts because this isn't something that I have the answer to. I'm wrestling with what this means in my own life and am daily having to remind myself to take up my cross. As I continue to do so, I want to challenge you to do the same. Every single day, choose to live the day for Jesus.

Choose to live your life worthy of the calling that you have received.

I joined a small group

"Welcome to {insert college ministry here}! We want you to get plugged into a community somewhere and what better way than by joining a small group! Small groups are a great way to meet people who are the same age as you. Want to sign up?"

I have heard that spoken in some way shape or form so many times over the past 6 six years. From theRiver, to BASIC, to Chi Alpha and Salt Co., every single college ministry night I attended during my undergrad and graduate years at UNI had an opportunity to get involved in a small group to build community.

I only ever tried it once though. My freshmen year, for one year, I met with a group of guys in the community room at Prairie Lakes Church and talked about life. One of the guys was my roommate, another the first real friend I made at UNI.  It was a great experience that I was sure to tell anybody about when they asked why they should join a small group.

Yet here I am, now a 24 year old college guy who has been a part of different ministries for a while now, and I just joined my second small group- ever.

Several weeks back, a friend was visiting family in Minnesota so I made the drive over to Northfield to spend the weekend with her and her family. On Sunday, we had the opportunity to check out one of the campuses of a new church I had wanted to go to in Mankato, Canvas Church, and wow, it was incredible. we really enjoyed the message and I could tell that they put in a lot of effort into making new and old attendees feel welcome. My first weekend attending in Mankato, I met a young couple who invited me out to an afternoon on a local lake. We grilled out, took the boat out, got stuck in the middle of the lake for a solid 30 minutes, and throughout it all, nothing felt weird.

Everything felt like normal, like home. It was the first time since moving to Mankato that I felt like I was building community.

A week later, I found myself sitting in their home, surrounded by a dozen or so other people whose names I was still uncertain of. Sitting there on the couch, making small talk with the strangers around me- it felt like freshman year again.

I was taken back to my earliest of memories of my time at UNI, when everything was new but I was surrounded by a group of people all excited for the same thing- community. That night, while sitting in my car outside of the couples home, I called the friend who went with me to Canvas in Northfield to tell her about it.

That is why I am writing this today- for those of you who maybe haven't taken the step to jump into a small group yet. Maybe you've been too afraid to. Maybe you've convinced yourself that small groups aren't for you. Or maybe, you've been telling yourself that you are just too busy for a small group- that it would be worth the minimal amounts of time you don't have. For the last five years, that's where I have found myself. I convinced myself that I didn't need a small group, that I was too busy for it. But in hindsight, I'm beginning to realize that I was probably just too afraid of jumping into a new situation and being vulnerable with people I didn't know. If joining a small group is something you haven't done, have never considered, or have actively avoided- I encourage you to reconsider.

I'm glad I did.

the summer

Remember back in elementary school? We spent our summers running around the park playground playing man on the wood chips. We read countless books to get the coveted invite to the summer reading program pool party. A party at the same pool we had season passes to and spent every afternoon getting burnt at.

Then something happened. Middle school rolled around and the playground was quickly replaced with the ball diamonds as we played baseball and softball. We continued to spend so many hours at the pool, but never seemed to get in the water when we went, opting to lounge on the side.

Summertime in high school meant summer jobs at the gas station, grocery store, construction company, and of course, at the pool. We spent the rest of our time cruising around town with our friends and making daily trips to neighboring cities since our town was "too boring."

No matter what though, we always knew what the summer would be like. We knew what to expect as soon as the final bell rang in school and summer began.

No one told us what summer would look like once college came along though. We quickly figured out what we wanted to do though- from heading back home to keep mooching off our parents to starting full time internships to beef up our resumes. While college was a completely new experience for all of us, we were still lucky enough to kind of have an idea of what came after the end of summer- the next year of college.

But then, what about after graduation? What is summer supposed to look like when there isn't anything that just naturally happens next?

That's where I found myself this past May.

There I was, summer after graduation, and I had absolutely NO PLAN for my future.

My lease was up May 31.

My boss at my part time job was unsure if he needed to replace me if I was going to leave.

And literally everybody around me was asking, "What are you doing now that you've graduated?"

Throughout the summer, I found myself really challenged in a way I've never been challenged before. Those of you that know me well enough know that I am a planner through and through. I like to have a game plan going into things and can make adjustments as needed, but really prefer to know what is happening before it does. Being that kind of a person really made this summer difficult for me.

I didn't know where I would be living on June 1 until the week before. I didn't know where I would be living for the month of July until the day before I moved into the new place. Throw on top of that the fact that I was striking out left and right with different job searches and I was feeling pretty discouraged.

I questioned a lot of the decisions I made in graduate school- even going as far as questioning my decision to pursue student affairs altogether. I wondered if the experiences I had had were adequate enough to land myself a job.

Here at the end of the summer- through all of the doubts and questions I had, I have realized how good this summer was for me. In too many situations, I had lived a life free from uncertainty. Every single year, I had a game plan at the end of the school year- I knew what was up next.

This year has been a challenge because of that- I had no clue what this summer would look like.

I didn't know my plan- heck, I didn't have one.

But at the end of summer, when I stopped stressing about it and quit worrying about what was next and embraced the uncertainty of the summer- summer without a plan was really good for me as it forced me out of my comfort zone and helped me prepare for life outside of Cedar Falls.